It wasn't in there

I liked Jitterbug Perfume which I read a few years ago, but Still Life With Woodpecker was off for me from nearly the beginning. Actually my opinion of it was doomed from even before I lifted it from the bottom shelf at the library because I was expecting a sequence of four words it didn't contain.


During my second year at grad school, I TA'd the first years' Cinematography II class. To help them prepare for their upcoming shoots, I had them set up their most difficult shots during class. Because the group was small and the point was to give them more experience, I was stuck acting out the scenes.

For this particular shot, another person was needed in front of the camera. It ended up being Jim because everyone else was engaged: operating the camera, pulling focus, pushing the dolly, or walking with a bounce card.

I reread the script page and shot notes. My character would sit in a chair facing forward as the camera pushed in to a medium close-up. Jim would lean his face into frame perpendicular to mine, I would turn to face him, and he would say, "Stay here with me." Except when we tried it, and I looked at him some few inches away, he couldn't get the words out.

"Cut!"

They set up the shot again. In film, timing is often everything. This time, he sputtered the words out but couldn't keep eye contact with me. I felt badly because I was obviously making Jim nervous. It wouldn't be the first time I found out I'd unintentionally intimidated someone.

The focus was off, and the bounce card had edged into the shot, so they set up again for another take. From behind the camera, Matt pointed out that we were supposed to kiss after Jim said the line.

I protested with the most obvious excuse that came to mind, "He's engaged."

With a big smirk, Matt replied, "Not anymore."

All of Jim's classmates watched me curiously. For a fleeting paranoid moment, I suspected they all knew something I didn't, but I was more concerned about getting out of the kiss. I didn't want to be beholden to kiss any and everyone if I gave in this time. Besides, Jim was looking even more traumatized.

"Look," I began, "There's only so much I'll do for the sake of a cinematography exercise. You'd have to rework that with the actual actors anyway."

We did another take sans kiss. Jim's "Stay here with me" was smoother, and he kept eye contact, but he was shaking. As the dolly withdrew for another take, I asked, "Is that position uncomfortable for you?"

"I'm fine," he replied.

"Are you sure? If it's hard to stay leaning over like that, maybe we should try something else."

"No, it's all right," he said and looked away.


The moment we were enacting was part of a scene pulled from Still Life With Woodpecker. The directing students were allowed to reset the scene as they wished, even to rewrite bits of dialogue. "Stay here with me" came from Jim's version of the scene.