29 March 2011

Jeff in Venice, Death in Varanasi

Jeff in Venice, Death in Varanasi19. Jeff in Venice, Death in Varanasi by Geoff Dyer

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Geoff Dyer is one of my favorite authors, but his work is difficult to characterize. I've read nearly all of his books (own several) except the one that's a study of John Berger's essays and a new one I only recently discovered. There are the quasi travel memoirs, a more critical look at photography, a musing on jazz, as well as some fiction.

Jeff in Venice, Death in Varanasi is a novel in two parts, just like the title. Having read many stories of the author's own adventures abroad, I recognized his voice in the character Jeff. Enough to make me think the Biennale in Venice and life in Varanasi have much in common with his descriptions of them.

I preferred the Jeff in Venice section of the book which transpires mainly in Venice, Italy during a biennial art festival aptly called the Biennale. His descriptions of the art parties made me feel like I was there while reminding me it's not my scene.

The Death in Varanasi section switches to a first person narrative that may or may not be Jeff from the first section of the book. It gave me a feel for the city Varanasi in India along the Ganges although no desire to visit.

The book is sort of the perfect vicarious experience of both cities.

A year ago on TTaT: Beyond: A Solar System Voyage

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27 March 2011

Biggest Bear Yet

Despite not having a new or updated logo, BearWatch 2011 is already a success! Success in this case equals me getting to see a bear in my back yard. From a photographic standpoint, I'm trying to learn from my mistakes rather than continue to kick myself for them.

I've been a bit down for the count the past week so when the bear call came, I was not at my best. My first mistake was flipping the camera dial from manual to auto. I was afraid I'd miss out on shots by being too slow adjusting the settings.

As I framed up my first shot below, I debated whether or not to wait until the bear had cleared the sculpture. I decided it wasn't an issue because I could take multiple shots.

But then the camera decided it was too dark out and fired the flash.

A fucking eternity passed as I waited for the flash to recharge so I could subsequently shut it off and take more pictures. Time stamps on my photos say it was just a minute or two, but I lost my chance to photograph the bear in prime location. It was long enough for me to realize I could've changed my shutter speed and aperture several times over.

This is probably my cleanest shot of the bear this go round:

The other thing I forgot to take into account is that the camera typically opts for slow shutter speeds in low light. 1/8 of a second is not what you want if you want a sharp image of a moving subject. If I'd been paying attention to the shutter speed, I could've at least tried panning with the bear to keep him in better focus.

Nonetheless, I think this impressionistic bear photograph is my favorite:

In preparation for next time, I'm taking advantage of the fact that my camera will remember its last manual settings. My f-stop is wide open and my shutter speed is 1/250. I'd go to 1/500 to be sure to freeze the action, but chances are fair that the bear will turn up late or early in the day when it's darker out. If I have to go to a slower shutter speed I can, but I'll also know if it's worth giving panning with the subject a try. White balance I typically set but in this case, I'll take my chances with auto white balance to save myself the extra menu fumbling. Mainly I'm trusting myself to think quickly in the moment.

With any luck, the bear will stop by again sometime. If not though, that's OK. Last year I didn't see any bears, so I'm really happy I got the chance to see this one.

For better bear photographs I've taken in the past, check out:

  • Claire's Bears

  • I'll take a bear in my Easter basket any day

  • The moment I've been waiting for

  • To sum up

  • A year ago on TTaT: Pick me up flowers

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    25 March 2011

    Life of Art SitRep #59 Human sponge

    Every week, I work towards creating a life of art for myself. This is the zigzag filled journey.

    Play along in the comments with your own pursuits if you'd like. (That's where I'll cheer you on.)
    Hindered would be a good way to describe this past week, but where progress was impeded I substituted education. (Lest I seem overly virtuous, there was also a lot of Veronica Mars, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, some Wonderfalls, movies and stray tv.)

    This week, I

  • Shot 10 photographs of a bear in the backyard! Not my best but more on that to come.

  • Watched nearly all of day 1 of Bambi Cantrell on Creative Live and all of Days 2 & 3. Great info!

  • Listened to GoingPro podcasts #32-34.

  • Watched "Copyright and the New Economy: Issues and Trends Facing Visual Artists" panel discussion.

  • Watched "Embellishing the Pentatonic Scale."

  • Sent thanks DMs to new twitter followers.

  • *******
    How are your pursuits going?

    A year ago on TTaT: Final winter exhibits

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    19 March 2011


    So I've started giving myself permission to do superficial things that put me at ease that would normally make my rational brain protest. You know what? Totally worth it.

    For example, I might be stressed out about going to a doctor's appointment. Although intellectually I know they really do not care if I shave my legs, I might choose to do it anyway because it will relieve my anxiety that I will be judged for it.

    Here's where the permission comes in. Despite my belief that being judged by arbitrary social conventions is ridiculous, often sexist, and unfair; I allow myself to abide by one of those conventions when it will make me feel more confident or relaxed.

    I reckon my approach to shaving my legs generally meets that metric. It's something I enjoy the process of so long as I'm not crazed about it.

    By allowing myself to shave my legs before a doctor's appointment when I would otherwise skip it without feeling guilty or mad at myself, it becomes a real choice. I choose to do it because it will make me feel better.

    As I get less stressed out by the inciting incident, I can make different choices if I want to. Instead of shaving, I might just wear knee-high socks. After meeting the doctor, I might realize I really don't care what she or he thinks about me. Or I might find out that my legs don't get seen at all anyway. The choice, whatever the venue or superficial action might be, is all up to me.

    The main thing is that I never have to feel bad about doing something (even if it's totally shallow) if it will make me feel more comfortable, particularly in situations I already find stressful. It's nice to give my irrational motivations some slack sometimes, and oddly it seems to make it easier to come around to the rational ones.

    A year ago on TTaT: Life of Art SitRep #6

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    17 March 2011

    Life of Art SitRep #58 More inspiration from my closet

    Every week, I work towards creating a life of art for myself. This is the zigzag filled journey.

    Play along in the comments with your own pursuits if you'd like. (That's where I'll cheer you on.)
    This week, I

  • Shot 73 photographs: receding snow, dog sculpture peeking out of snow, chairs, snow footprints, golf course.

  • Prepped Brown Suede With Strap And Buckle photograph, wrote product description, and created a line of customizable products:

  • zblogged, tweeted, FB'd Brown Suede With Strap And Buckle link.

  • Made Rainbow Stripes shipping label:

  • Added related designs and did post quick create checklists for Rainbow Stripes, Rainbow Square, and Rainbow Squares.

  • Tweeted, FB'd, zblogged Flowing Blue Silk Fabric Abstract folder link.

  • Removed ornaments and calendars from featured items. Rearranged items a bit. Bit glitchy, redid once, so may take a while to show up/be correct.

  • Submitted links/products to 9 lenses/forum leads.

  • Tweeted, FB'd, zblogged, TTaT blogged Pi day sale. Also tweeted magnet sale.

  • Sent several thanks DMs to new twitter followers.

  • Listened to Going Pro Podcast Episode 31: creating related business for ancillary income.

  • Watched "How To Create Presets in Camera Raw" Photoshop tutorial.

  • Watched "“When you Travel, Bring your Passport!” with Seth Resnick" webinar. Mostly about Lightoom.

  • *******
    How are your pursuits going?

    A year ago on TTaT: Sketchbook, page 13 <– really like this one!

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    16 March 2011

    The slow approach of spring

    The pup's been completely buried for most of winter, so it's nice to see him again.

    A year ago on TTaT: BearWatch '10

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    15 March 2011

    The hoops there are many

    Before I left the office I told her that the only day this week I couldn't have an appointment was Wednesday because I have jury duty. I saw her write it down. All I had to do was wait for her to call with the date and time once she'd set it up. Naturally when she left a message with the time, it was for the one day I was certain I couldn't do it.

    I double-checked the jury site just to be sure but I'd already postponed it the maximum they allow.

    So I called her back and explained and she said she would reschedule it when the scheduling department was open again the next day. That was Thursday.

    Monday night, I got a message confirming my appointment on Wednesday. The person who answered had enough sense to tell them I needed to reschedule and got a number.

    Apparently the scheduling office is open much later than I'd been lead to believe. Granted when I called, no one picked up and I was basically unintentionally eavesdropping on office chat.

    Figured I'd call back the next day, today, Tuesday.

    Technically, you can call after 3 PM the day before you're called for jury duty to see if you have to show up. My group number was quite low so I didn't have great hopes of getting out of it. I should've waited until 3.

    I called the scheduling department and spoke with Doreen who assured me I should always call them directly since the medical assistants are terrible about scheduling for people. She was delightful.

    I rescheduled my appointment for the next earliest day in mid April, the same day I had another appointment to go over the results. So then I had to call the office and reschedule that appointment which pushed it to late April.

    About 10 after 3, I called the jury line only to find out they cancelled jury duty for *everyone* tomorrow. Figures!

    After sharing my frustration for a few minutes, I psyched myself up to call everyone back.

    Fran at scheduling was awesome and though she couldn't get my appointment back for tomorrow she got me one on Friday. So apparently mid April was not the next earliest appointment? Or perhaps she just scheduled me with someone else which is fine. Or maybe someone else cancelled their appointment. Whatever, right?

    That left calling the office to reschedule my appointment to get my results. I spoke to the same woman I'd rescheduled with earlier today, the less friendly one, and she didn't quite understand and shunted me off to the medical assistant who wasn't in her office anyway. I hung up, called back and got the friendly receptionist, completely botched my explanation to the point of being unable to talk at first but ultimately conveyed that I hoped for an earlier appointment.

    I heard her conferring with the other receptionist. "Jen already looked for you, right? And there wasn't anything."

    I asked her to check the date of my original appointment and lo and behold it was still open.

    So, basically back to status quo now. GGRRRRR!!!! I really hate phones and jury duty notices that mess with your schedule for no. fucking. reason. Grr.

    Deep breath.

    Thanks, needed to get that out of my system. I totally deserve a treat now.

    A year ago on TTaT: The growth of Fuji, Anxiety riffs

    14 March 2011

    Happy π Day!

    I honestly love some good math (I'm a topologist at heart), so it's my pleasure to announce a Pi Day Sale at my Rocklawn Arts Zazzle store.

    Get 12.56% OFF everything in my shop until 11:59pm PT March 14, 2011 (that's today, considered "Pi Day" because the date is 3/14). The 12.56 comes from 4πr^2 where r=1 (couldn't figure out how to raise the 2 to make r squared, but I think that notation is still correct).

    Use coupon code: 314159265358

    Cool, unusual photography FTW! Architecture, landscapes, abstracts, nature details, rainbow patterns and more! Customize a gift for yourself or someone special.

    A year ago on TTaT: Sketchbook, page 12

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    11 March 2011

    Life of Art SitRep #57 Red and Blue

    Every week, I work towards creating a life of art for myself. This is the zigzag filled journey.

    Play along in the comments with your own pursuits if you'd like. (That's where I'll cheer you on.)
    This week, I

  • Prepared Red Linen Fabric Texture and Flowing Blue Silk Fabric Abstract photographs, wrote descriptions for them, and created lines of customizable products:

  • Tweeted, FB'd, zblogged Red Linen Fabric Texture folder link.

  • Tweeted some sales.

  • Sent thanks DM to 3 new twitter followers.

  • Watched "Fixing Layer Style Scaling Problems" Photoshop tutorial. Good one! Available in iTunes podcasts.

  • Listened to GoingPro podcast #29. They recommend 10x what you normally charge to give someone digital negatives. If you're getting that, don't sweat giving up the negatives. In some markets 10x will be too much, in some too little. It needs to cover what it took you to make the picture: your education, your gear, your computer and software, etc. Have to charge enough to cover your cost. Be open minded about giving up your files. Different market place now than ten years ago. Good tips!

  • Listened to Going Pro Podcast Episode 30. All about backing up your business, not just gear and files but people who can fill in, all the ways to cover your responsibilities if you can't.

  • *******
    How are your pursuits going?

    A year ago on TTaT: The Bulb Show, a spring treat

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    04 March 2011

    Life of Art SitRep #56 More than it appears I hope

    Every week, I work towards creating a life of art for myself. This is the zigzag filled journey.

    Play along in the comments with your own pursuits if you'd like. (That's where I'll cheer you on.)
    Hmm, I totally feel like I accomplished more than it appears here. Perhaps it's because I'm thinking ahead.

    This week, I

  • Shot 112 photographs. Didn't submit an abstract everyday item photograph for Popular Photography's February contest because I realized what I'd shot wasn't what they had in mind. However, my mistep inspired me to shoot a series which is perhaps more useful as I can put them in my shop. May even try some more proper everyday item abstract shots down the line.

  • Wrote product description for photograph Five Fabrics With Geometric Patterns and created prints/posters, cards, postcard, iPad and iPhone cases, mugs, t-shirts, tote bags, magnets, buttons, stickers, bumper sticker, keychains, mouse pad, ornaments, return address label, necklace, and stamps:

  • Zblogged, tweeted, FB'd 5 Fabrics With Geometric Patterns.

  • Uploaded 5 Fabrics With Geometric Patterns to my redbubble site.

  • Tweeted sale and product info.

  • Sent thanks DM to 4 new followers.

  • Updated online sales file.

  • Fixed Bokeh in Spring image link in links file and in related products sections of 5 products. Not sure why it was a blank image.

  • Removed sale info from Rocklawn Arts store intro that no longer was valid. Changed "top picks" to Bokeh in Spring iPhone 4 and iPad cases and 5 Fabrics with Geometric Patterns iPhone 4 case.

  • Watched 1st half of Nikon D7000 Fast Start with John Greengo on Creative Live.

  • Listened to GoingPro Podcast Episodes 27 and 28. 28 talks about off camera flash- models numbers, types- helpful.

  • *******
    How are your pursuits going?

    A year ago on TTaT: Snow Tracks

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    03 March 2011

    The Origins of Electronica?

    So I'm back from my encounter with the Most Ridiculous Instrument, also known as an MRI machine.

    Almost laughed when it started up because I immediately recalled what my brother had said about his MRI experience a couple of years ago: it's like old school electronic music.

    But backing up for a moment, I was amused when the guy running through all the safety questions with me said, "You don't have problems with small spaces, right?" as though it was an afterthought. Way to assume the sale, buddy.

    "I do actually, but I think I'll be all right."

    "Oh you will be, you're thin. It only covers this much," he held a hand at the top of his head and one by his waist, "And you can see out the whole time." He told me he'd be back for me in a few minutes and closed a curtain across the hallway behind him.

    I closed the locker he'd given me for my jacket and took the key out of the padlock and sat back down.

    I waited a few minutes looking at the row of lockers, the rocking chair next to me, a bench, some posters about how to use ear plugs and a mostly covered shelf of folded white fabrics. Then I noticed the open door to my left was to a patient restroom.

    Last thing I need is to be fighting the urge to pee while I have to remain still in a claustrophobic space for half an hour. I hit the restroom and a few minutes later the MRI tech came to get me.

    As we entered the MRI room, he pointed to a ledge by a glass partition behind which he would run the test. "You can put your key right there. It will be safe and no one can get to it unless one of us comes inside this room with you."

    Hmm. Guess the magnet isn't as super strong as I'd thought.

    To my left was a long narrow table covered with white fabric. Beyond it, the MRI machine. I admit I didn't really look at the machine because I didn't want to focus on the size of the opening. Besides there was a bunch of other stuff in the room. I'd been thinking pristine white empty room a la Grey's Anatomy, but this actually seemed like part storage room.

    Shoes on or off was my preference, but I left them on since they felt ok.

    I lied down on my back with my head resting in a cradle. He gave me a support to go under my knees and ear plugs. Once I was done with some goofy, fidgety jockeying around I lied back again.

    He slid a cage above my face like a wire guard on a sports helmet. Oh my god, that's close. Breathe.

    The nice tech and another assistant slid angled foam pieces down by my ears to help keep my head still. The tech said, "You need to keep your head still for 15 minutes while I'm taking pictures, when we pull you out to give you the contrast injection, and then when we put you back in."

    His voice was muffled between the ear plugs and the cushions. So was mine when I said, "You mean I need to keep my head from moving the entire time from when you start to when we're totally done?"


    Exhale. "OK."

    "Most people keep their eyes shut, but you can have them open. It makes no difference to the test."


    "I'm going to slide you back now." He pressed a button and conveyor belt style, I rolled back. The sleeves of my bulky sweater and arms were pushed in slightly by the edges of the tunnel. Wow, that's narrow.

    "Are you all right?"


    Two vertical strips of pale blue light on either side of the ceiling of the tunnel illuminated it. Very 2001. This is when I noticed part of the face cage was a small angled mirror which let me see out of the tunnel.

    "I'll check on you in five minutes to make sure you're OK. If you need to stop, just press the button and I'll pause the machine. If you're cold, we can get you a blanket. We want you to be comfortable so you can stay still." I looked at him in the small mirror. "Are you ready?"


    He left the room and closed the door. I could see the glass partition to the next room where he sat behind a computer.

    Based on a creepy episode of Medium with an MRI (though to be fair, most episodes had creepy elements with murderers), I'd been thinking it was going to sound like a train. I did not expect the sounds to be so varied: knocking, electronic hums, clicks, Space Invaders, sustained sounds, short sounds, beeps: an electronic musical. It would not surprise me at all to discover that electronica was developed by an MRI tech or someone who'd undergone an MRI.

    Blood was pounding in my head. Surely my head's moving? It feels like it's moving. I can't get the blood to beat less hard. My shoulders were tense and pulled up. Can I lower them without moving my head? I should've relaxed them before I was rolled in. I probably thought they were relaxed though. Every time I swallowed I felt like I was moving too much.

    I tried closing my eyes but couldn't relax enough to leave them closed. I opened them and watched the tech in the mirror beyond the glass. Sometimes one of the other assistants would walk by behind him. Before I'd gone in, I'd been thinking it'd be cool if you could have a picture in the tunnel of something serene and expansive like a cloudy blue sky. This is smart, I thought to myself regarding the small prism/mirror. It lets me see him so I don't feel abandoned and it expands the distance in this room so I don't feel as confined.

    The tech's voice came over a speaker, "That was great. Are you doing all right?"


    "It'll be about another 10 to 15 minutes before we pull you out for the injection." While he was talking I carefully lowered my shoulders. Ah, that's better.


    The crazy electronic cacophony resumed. Sometimes the table would move a little up or down in the tunnel. One series of sounds made my lower ribs vibrate. Then the table was vibrating. All right, if I'm moving now it's totally not my fault.

    I watched as the tech alternately looked at the computer screen and then spoke to his co-workers. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but it seemed like typical killing time while the machine runs banter.

    "OK, I'm going to pull you out now for your injection."

    He came in, and I found myself stifling probably hysterical laughter as he rolled me out. The machine's bizarre sounds just seemed really funny in that moment.

    He left to find a nurse and I took the respite to relax my body as much as possible without being able to move my head and with a cage still over my face. After a couple minutes he returned with one in tow. I pulled up my bulky sleeves (before we'd started I had pulled my arm out of my sweater sleeve concerned it wouldn't pull up enough for the injection but then rethought it and put it back on because it was cold in there and uncomfortable to have a sweater half on/half off. Yes it was ridiculous, but they were really nice about it.). The nurse said, "Thank you."

    "You're welcome."

    She tied one of those rubber things around my bicep and prepared my arm. The the tech hovered a few feet behind her. I could see them in the mirror. I did my best to resist the urge to turn my head to speak to them.

    "You'll feel a pinch," she said. Yup, that's what they say every time.

    There was a pinch and then a pause.

    "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to do that again. I think I went through the vein."

    The tech added, "It's better to be safe. The injection's fine if it goes into a vein but we don't want it going anywhere else."

    The nurse said, "I'll just do the other arm since this one is bruised."

    I must've given a look because the tech asked, "Is there a problem with that?"

    "Well," I said, "the other arm is bruised too. They took a bunch of blood for tests last week but there was one test they couldn't do there, so I had to come here for it and they used the other arm."

    "Figures we'd do that," the friendly tech said. "I'm not good with needles, I wouldn't have liked that."

    "I've had blood drawn three times in the last two weeks."

    The nurse and the tech both exclaimed at that. My brother had always said if someone misses the vein on the first try you should ask for someone else, but considering all the stabs I've had of late, it didn't seem unreasonable to think my elbow veins were more delicate at the moment. (Actually, it occurs to me now that it's actually been 4 draws not 3.)

    Through the muffling of the ear plugs, the tech good-heartedly said that they need to find a better way to get information/blood, that we need to be in the future.

    "I'll try your hand then," the nurse said. She got it and began the injection, "This may feel cold and may make your mouth taste metallic. How's that feel?"


    She began the second stage of the injection and said it might feel cool up my arm. It did but it also hurt. FYI, staying still while in pain is not a natural response.

    "Are you OK?" the tech asked.

    "Yeah, it just stung for a minute." The pain started to subside and the nurse looked at me with concern.

    "OK, that's it for the injection." The nurses hand held onto mine for a minute. Her hand was really warm.

    I thought I heard her tell the tech, "Just another minute." Then she said, "The needle is out and you have a bandage on your hand. You're all set."

    "Thank you." I moved my hand back to rest on my stomach and she placed the call button under it.

    The tech said, "Just two more sets of pictures: one five minutes and one six and then you're done."


    He rolled me back in and resumed his post in the room next door. The injection kind of hurt and I was starting to feel the room's cold. My whole body was tense and I was just starting to shake when over the intercom, the tech said, "You did great, you're all done. I'll be in to roll you out."

    The guy who'd originally brought me back to the MRI area appeared beside me as he pressed the button to roll me out. "How was it?" he asked.

    "All right." Just get the cage off! He pulled the foam pieces out from beside my ears and I was sitting up as soon as he slid the cage back.

    The MRI tech was on the other side of the table and said something I missed. I pulled out the ear plugs and asked, "What was that?"

    "Oh it doesn't matter now," the tech said. "I just said, 'Don't jump off before the table's lowered,' but it is now, so it's fine." They both smiled at me. "So was that fun?" the tech asked, "Or perhaps you'd call it something else."

    "Well... it was strange with its old school electronic music."

    "Yeah, a friend of mine said she liked the Space Invaders dum dum, dum dum sounds best. Now that's what I think of every time I hear it." His friend was right, some of it did sound like Space Invaders.

    He got my jacket for me and told me when I could expect to hear something. Yup, not until next week. Sigh.

    Both of the guys wished me luck and told me they hoped I feel better. I thanked them and reentered the hospital maze.

    FRIDAY UPDATE: Well, nothing like having your doc call and tell you you need to see a neurologist ASAP. Kind of makes me frustrated how long this has all dragged out waiting for phone calls, results, and such. None of the waiting has been due to my end. And lumbar puncture? Does not sound remotely fun. This sucks.

    A year ago on TTaT: Behind the photo: Mind the Background

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    02 March 2011

    Claustrophobia tips, anyone?

    Everything's relative, I suppose, but I was really happy this morning to find out that lotion and deodorant will not affect my MRI test tomorrow. And no fasting for me, yay! I'm still happy about it actually. Bonus: the place where I'm going for it called to remind me of my appointment and the woman I spoke to was really nice and answered my questions. So glad I didn't need to call my doctor's office to try to get my follow up questions answered.

    Granted, I wouldn't have even thought about the lotion and deodorant if my mom hadn't mentioned it. Wasn't actually off the wall since the woman who initially called to set up the appointment told me not to wear makeup (no biggie, since I don't wear it anyway).

    But to the real point: anyone have any tips for a slightly claustrophobic person who must endure a confined space?

    I've read online that they can sedate you, but I really don't want to take anything. Yup, that's me, preferring the hard way.

    I think I'll be all right with it, but I'm all game for tips if you have any.

    I bet the sound will bother me more. Have some ear plugs I'm going to take with me. Wish it was going to be warmer tomorrow though, since my PJ bottoms are pretty thin. (Can't wear any metal.) Forecast is wind chill of -10, what the hell?! Ah well.

    Anyway, in the unlikely event they discover something and decide they must do something about it right then, I may be offline for a bit. I think that's really unlikely because I just can't picture them having a neuro surgeon on hand at night.

    In even more unlikely circumstances of my personality changing due to emergency surgery or me not coming back, I just wanted to say: I've appreciated your company and your support over the years. I.e., your friendship.

    Again, I don't think I'll be whisked away to surgery tomorrow or anything so drastic, but I figured I'd cover my bases. You never know, y'know?

    A year ago on TTaT: Sketchbook, page 7

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