27 February 2009

Do people actually like Shane?

Just when I've achieved a new layer of discernment in my tv watching that allows me to give up on shows I've watched for years even if nothing else is on, it's become cheaper to have digital cable than not. This means a DVR and hundreds more channels.

One of those is LOGO, so I recorded The L Word. Having never seen an episode before, I'm glad I did because I don't think I could watch it without being able to fastforward. Since it was a rerun, it must've been from an early season but other than that all I can say is it wasn't the pilot. Shane was the only character I knew by name and 'net reputation, but I could mostly follow the soap opera interactions. The actress from The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love still kind of annoys me.

I could stand to watch more of Jennifer Beals who was "meat-tagged" in this episode. And I got a kick out of seeing Cobie Smulders of HIMYM in something else. I could see watching eps based on guest stars. Also some time ago, Jenny of runjenrun wrote about watching The L Word in a bar, and I think I get that now. With communal viewing, the show's sins may be more easily forgiven.

Under the Weather 2

Bear under weather 2
Sinuses be damned!

A year ago on TTaT: Bounce, Rock, Skate, Roll

25 February 2009

Now she's a superhero

You must watch Ellen's video of the day today. Or if you're reading this later, go to the video gallery and select "How to Catch a Criminal With a Wedgie!" (I couldn't find a direct link for it.)

Yvonne's got some serious courage and determination. I would not have gone to the lengths she did; I would've been too scared. Being scared isn't always a bad thing. In my experience, self defense instructors advocate avoiding confrontation whenever possible. Still, her story bolsters my spirit.

Last week, I finally got around to seeing Iron Man on DVD. I enjoyed it but did not find it worthy of all the hype it got last summer. Mostly it made me think, Where are all the women? By which I mean female superheroes.

I know filmmakers are working from source material for all these superhero movies, but I would've loved to have seen Iron Man with the genders reversed. I think it would've given the scene on the balcony with Tony and Pepper when she refers to all his womanizing and says it's fine a lot more interesting layers.

3 years ago on TTaT: NBC, you make me wonder; Homage

19 February 2009

Moustacheslut '87

As much as I'd like to participate in beardwhore09, I don't have the goods. However, I remembered that I could very well be a contender for moustacheslut87. As likely the only nominee, I love my chances.

I'd hoped to find better pictures, but profiles were the best I could find.

Uncle Steve, Uncle Charlie, Uncle Nick
Uncle CharlieSeriously though, I rocked that moustache.

Brandon, Vahid: back in 1987, it's fucking on! There can be only one!

I am a Rock Immortal

Well, I passed the 8 song challenge to get on the Rolling Stone Rock Immortal List in Rock Band 2 at a medium level of difficulty on guitar.

What's perhaps more noteworthy is that for the first time since I got the game at xmas, I made it all the way through a song with no mistakes. (A song I'd never played before, woo!) In the game, this is known as FLAWLESS. Usually just after the moment I consciously notice that I'm doing well and might get through the song without any errors, I trip up. C'est la vie.

Same thing often happens to me when I play DDR. The announcer dude saying, "100 Combo," used to ensure a misstep within the next five arrows. I bet it's a brain hemisphere thing. To play well in either game, I need to connect scrolling symbols on screen to physical actions without really thinking about it. Recognizing that it's going well accesses another part of my brain which can easily throw me out of the zone.

Here's to staying in the zone!

A year ago on TTaT: Once upon a time in New Mexico

18 February 2009

Surrender. / No. Not now. Not ever.

Thanks, Vahid!superhero
The hair's not unruly enough. Semi-short, fairly curly hair never seems to be an option. However, I probably would pull it back to fight crime with my laser whip.

You can get your own here.

2 years ago on TTaT: At least it's sunny?, So far, so good?

17 February 2009

Out of time

Lately, I find myself obsessed with looking up actors that I find appealing only to discover that they're a few years younger than I am. Which, honestly, is horribly depressing because then I think, Look what they've already accomplished, how much further they've advanced professionally in less time. Course it's not like acting has a linear, cumulative path towards success, so that's something, sort of.

And Kari Matchett is actually three years older than I am which is a little reassuring. I know, 3 years plus or minus is no big deal, but there is something to feeling completely outclassed.

The clothes, the sense of purpose, and the goals that go with someone in her mid-thirties: I just don't have them.

Is it only fear constraining me?

No. There's a fundamental mistrust of paths to success which are based more on socializing than merit. And contempt, can't forget the contempt.

Mi dispiace if that's harsh. Just feel like I can't breathe today.

A year ago on TTaT: A 30% chance shouldn't feel like doom...

15 February 2009

My hands are cold...

...but my ears are warm.

However, if I keep feeling my ears, that may change.

What's the wives' tale that goes with burning ears? People talking about me? Doesn't seem likely, but it's not like I'd know.

Damn, they really are quite toasty. Hope I'm not coming down with something.

A year ago on TTaT: Valentine's Day is over...

14 February 2009

Remember the other V-Day

Who cares about chocolate, flowers, and jewelry when there's a movement to stop violence against women and girls to celebrate today? Not me.

Check out the V-day site to learn more about the movement.

Find a V-day event near you occurring now or in the coming weeks, read The Vagina Monologues, and support V-day until the violence stops.

A year ago on TTaT: Happy V-Day!

11 February 2009

Don't hang yourself with a celibate rope

Highs around 50, that's the forecast for tomorrow. Even if it does rain, that still sounds real nice. A good day to pick up the dvd I requested from the library. With any luck, friendly Nick with the great smile and thick, almost unruly hair will be working the desk.

And then there's the general store. I first stopped in back in September. The day after Thanksgiving, I stopped in to get some stocking stuffers. The moment I walked through the door, the shopkeeper said, "Hey, you've been in before. Right?"

"Yeah. A couple months ago." Generally I prefer scoping out stores as if I'm invisible, so being placed as soon as I crossed the threshold unnerved me a bit. A while later, as I looked around, the shopkeeper said, "Did I ask your name last time?"

"No." A combination of perverse humor, nervousness, and a general aversion to talking to strangers kept me from saying anything further.

"What's your name?"


"Hey, Claire. I'm showing my jewelry at a holiday craft fair coming up. Here, let me give you an invitation." She reached under the counter and handed me a promotional postcard.

"Thanks." I resumed looking by the opposite wall several feet away, beyond a partial divider that could be seen through. I surreptitiously read the postcard, finding her name on the back.

"Did I tell you my name?"

I turned to face her, smiled and said, "No."

"I'm Carrie."

"Hey, Carrie."

The whole encounter could be chalked up to salesmanship and self promotion. I noted how she dealt with other customers: friendly, clearly an outgoing person, but she didn't engage them in conversation quite as much.

When I was leaving, she said, "You're from around here, so I'll see ya."

I paused before crossing the threshold and said, "See you around, Carrie." She looked... surprised in a good way is my best guess. I assume that my using her name again is what caught her off-guard in that moment.

I didn't make it to the craft fair and I haven't been back since, but I find myself searching for a reason to buy some novelty as an excuse to stop by. The chatting puts me out of my comfort zone, I'm not fond of her name, and she reminds me of an old bipolar friend of mine in her pre-meds days when she was manic. And yet, I wonder if she'd remember me a second time and if she'd be able to greet me by name.

The name thing goes for Nick too. He had mine down before I figured his out, but it's been a couple months since I've seen him.

I suppose there's something about being remembered by people I barely know that reaffirms that I'm seen even when it may not be my intention.

Now if I can just manage not to sound like an idiot, tomorrow will be a good day. Any tips to bring out my suave?

A year ago on TTaT: Don't get too excited

08 February 2009

Physics jerk

During a parent-teacher conference, Mr. Barrett told my mother that my brother should be a game show host. She was so furious that four years later when I had him for chemistry and physics, she sent my dad to speak with him.

Almost once every class, Mr. Barrett would tell a morose or distracted student, "Here's a dime. Go call someone who cares." He never said it to me, but if he had, I would've kept his dimes.

Over the xmas interlude, at dinner with my parents, brother and his family, old teachers came up in conversation. Once I'd clarified some name confusion, my brother said, "That's right. So what's Mr. Barrett up to these days? Is he still teaching and coaching golf?"

"He's dead," I said.

A year ago on TTaT: It ain't over until it's a done deal

07 February 2009

I want to go to there

The clock reads 1:53 AM. I roll over and close my eyes, pull the covers up, adjust my pajamas.
I think you'll figure it out.
I think you'll figure it out.
I think you'll figure it out.

A litany to prime my dreams.

I think you'll figure it out.
Wait. Or was it, "I think you'll know?"

I replay the scene in my head, testing the phrases.

I think you'll know?
I think you'll figure it out.
I think you'll know.
I think you'll figure it out.
I think it's "I think you'll figure it out," but I'm not sure.
"I think you'll know" is stronger.
Whatever. Doesn't matter. It's close enough.

I roll over and glance at the clock: 2:17 AM.

Frak! I'm thinking too much.

With eyelids shut, I slow my breathing and heart rate. The words become a protracted meditation.

I think you'll figure it out.
I think you'll figure it out.
I think you'll figure it out.
Just. go. to. sleep.

A few minutes later, I check the clock again. It's 5:13 AM, but I don't feel like I've slept at all. I must have but I feel like I never stopped trying to trigger the dream.

I think you'll know.

I couldn't recall having any dreams during that three hour stretch.

You're trying too hard. Just let it go.

I relaxed into the mattress and waited to return to sleep.

2 years ago on TTaT: Living well

05 February 2009

The Light on the Bear

Of course as soon as I returned from walking to the next room to get the camera, the light had changed and the sun was rapidly dipping below the treeline. The light in the third shot is similar to what originally caught my eye though.

teddybear 1
4:00:13 PM

teddybear 2
4:03:35 PM

teddybear 3
4:04:21 PM

3 years ago on TTaT: At a loss

02 February 2009

Musicians on songwriting

I finally got around to reading an article by Rosanne Cash that I'd bookmarked ages ago, and it turns out it's part of a whole series of posts by several musicians about songwriting. Very very cool.

The New York Times website describes their blog Measure for Measure thusly:
With music now available with a single, offhand click, it's easy to forget that songs are not born whole, polished and ready to play. They are created by artists who draw on some combination of craft, skill and inspiration. In the coming weeks, the contributors to this blog -- all accomplished songwriters -- will pull back the curtain on the creative process as they write about their work on a songs in the making.
The blog begins with blurbs about its contributors--Andrew Bird, Darrell Brown, Rosanne Cash, Peter Holsapple, Jeffrey Lewis, and Suzanne Vega--here. The sidebar has next post links as well as links to each contributor's posts. You can also listen to songs they're working on or writing about from players within the posts or in the sidebar.

If the creative process interests you, these posts are definitely worth a look.

2 years ago on TTaT: Steady now...

01 February 2009

"delicate slut strings"

The language in my dreams is becoming more inventive.


For those of you celebrating football today, a Merry Superbowl to you.

I'm not going to watch but I plan to eat chips, dips, and snacks in honor of the occasion. And probably watch some of the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet. Puppies! (Kittens historically at half-time.)

I just wish they would ditch the crowd roar on the soundtrack. And show more water bowl cam!

A year ago on TTaT: Like Juno, but real and from the adoptive mother's point of view