31 March 2006

There's no such thing as a chocolate milkshake

It's absolutely true. Sure, menus everywhere claim to have them, they'll even bring you a glass full of a thick cold concoction resembling chocolate ice cream. Don't be fooled.

Of course it is remotely possible that I live in my own personal Bizarro world where the chocolate milkshakes I order never taste like chocolate. I know what you're thinking... it's a syrup or restaurant issue. I assure you, it's not. Every chocolate milkshake I've ever ordered from any kind of establishment has not been chocolate flavored.

It's not just me either. On occasion, I have insisted my companions sample for themselves, and they've agreed with me.

Today's tasted like strawberry. Not a single swirl of pink in the whole mix. Not even a drop. At least I like strawberry; it has more kick than vanilla.

So why do I keep ordering them?

Good question.

I reckon it comes down to faith. Some day my shake will come.

Over four years have passed since I wrote this, and I can't remember the last time I ordered a milkshake. I guess I don't have faith. I'd rather have a smoothie anyway.

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  1. I think I much prefer malts, anyway. That way when it tastes more malty than chocolatey, it has a purpose.

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  3. A hot fudge shake is awesome! The chocolate flavor is much better and it's great to have the little bits of hot fudge that are frozen with the ice cream.

  4. I've noticed this happening recently at McDonald's simply because, it seems, all the shakes come out the same spout. So you'll have a bit of vanilla or strawberry or whatever the flavor of the month is at the bottom of the shake. The rest, however, has always tasted chocolate to me.

  5. as a girl whose first job was at baskin-robbins, i have mastered the making of a good shake. i have to make my own as they never taste as good elsewhere. . . well except at this one restaurant here called the saturn cafe- they make the BOMB shakes!

    damn, now i want a shake.

  6. Michele: Hmm. Must confess I've never liked malts. Their very maltiness is precisely what I don't care for.

    Lady Jane Scarlett: That sounds awesome. I have some Ben & Jerry's hot fudge in my fridge right now...

    Kevin: Sometimes the multi-spout is the culprit. Lots of places use vanilla and just add syrup for flavor also. Mostly I don't like weak flavored chocolate (and soft serve is usually pretty weak).

    Ms.Sizzle: I'll have to remember that if I make it back out to the west coast. I feel the same way about smoothies- the one's I make are king, except for this one place: the juice fountain in LA that has the best smoothies ever!

  7. I used to order choc shakes too - funny, I never realised they didn't taste chocolate, but it's true! I just started ordering vanillas instead (as they hardly ever have banana - which I would have preferred - in these European outskirts)...

  8. I agree with you. Smoothies are much better than milkshakes.

  9. The thing about smoothies is, I keep expecting them to be milkshakes. I can't handle the perpetual disappointment involved in the smoothie.

  10. This is a very sad matter. I will now spend my weekend doing research on Google trying to find a place with a good chocolate shake. Will you be willing to fly to a place like Salt Lake City just for the shake?

  11. Tracy Lynn: That's exactly my feeling towards milkshakes.

    SLC is considerable, Neil. I'd like to go back and hit a couple of the other national parks out there. I'm more likely to fly to LA for my dream smoothie though.

  12. they don't use chocolate ice cream. that is the problem with this world. McDonald's got rid of chocolate, most chain restaurants insist on serving only vanilla, and so on. if your chocolate milkshake was made with ACTUAL CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM, I am sure it would be fabulous.