17 August 2006

Plans

Yesterday my mom asked me about my plans in relation to a storage unit we're sharing, and in that moment it was just so clear to me that I have none. When you approach life in a day-to-day fashion, thinking ahead becomes so foreign. 5 years from now is as hard to predict as five weeks from now.

It was never something I was much good at; setting life goals beyond college just wasn't something I did. Wanting a master's degree was as far as it went, so completing my MFA was perfect since it's a terminal degree*. I sort of morbidly didn't expect to be around still this many years later.

So what next? What effort will I be willing to commit myself to? I have no idea. I'm both envious and annoyed by people with a sense of a life's mission for themselves or pursuits they care enough about to endure the frustrating along the way.

*There's no degree higher than it for that field of study.
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4 comments :

  1. Am sure living day to day must have its advantages. Planning can be so worriesome. Am personally having the impression that I've till now done nothing out of my life. But when i objectively go through what i actually did, I realise that its the goals I've set and haven't achieved yet that give me this impression!

    Fitèna

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  2. Thank you for that. That's well put. It is what's ahead that colors our perceptions of where we are now.

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  3. I can relate to this. I am in the process of making goals for my future...I am pretty much always in this process it seems. Thats ok by me, because it is where dreams begin, and finding out what it is that is truly important to me. But when I was 20 something, all my goals pretty much ended after college as well...

    I guess that is when I realized that it wasn't such a bad place to be, like the pictures of the sky on your previous post, the outlook was as beautiful as I made it, and the limits were really only what I made them to be.

    Love that.

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  4. Adeline: "like the pictures of the sky on your previous post, the outlook was as beautiful as I made it, and the limits were really only what I made them to be."

    That's a good way to look at it. I get hung up on not wanting to commit to the wrong choice, thereby choosing nothing at all.

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