26 September 2006

Rick Sixty-Two

(Another slice from my time in SF.)

My friend B's ex-landlady's niece's boyfriend was telling us about his mom's boyfriend, possibly his stepfather, after the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festival last Sunday. His name is Rick and he's from Norway or somewhere around there. His English is decent having been here 20 years though he inverts idioms oddly and still tries to use illegal compound words in Scrabble. He sounds like an honest fellow with no tact. At a big deal gallery opening for the mom's sculpture, Rick was somewhat scruffy and could be heard making comments most people would whisper: "That is a lovely jacket you're wearing...the pants are too tight."

Like many San Francisco residents, he is aggravated by the lack of parking and particularly those drivers who park leaving gaps not quite wide enough for another car. My friends call this "parking rape." For example, there could have been two parallel spaces, but someone parks in the middle taking up both. Just today on my street, if all the cars currently parked weren't several feet apart, there'd be room for 2 or 3 more cars, but instead I'm parked three blocks away.

Rick is a man of action. On his street, all such drivers would find notes on their cars suggesting they move up. If the note is removed and the car unmoved, they get another admonishing them for not having moved their car. Eventually they might receive something like this:
Please choose from the following: a) I am ignorant. b) I am a stupid moron. c) I am inconsiderate and mean. Since you will not to reply I will choose for you. B, You are moronically stupid driver. -Rick #62
You have to give him credit: he leaves his name and house number on every note. He does get notes in return but his loyalty to his mission remains true. One woman filed a "cease and desist" order on him and the Dept. of Parking and Transportation has received a number of complaints. Of course, the DPT supervisor took this to mean the meter-maid dude for that area wasn't giving out enough tickets. (Because, you know, it couldn't be that there's just not enough parking even if people don't park sloppy.) Feeling the heat of his superiors, the dude ticketed everyone on the block one day using every possible infraction.

The war continues, Rick's resolve still strong. He doesn't care what other people think.

Rick 62, you're my hero.

One year ago at TTaT: tip of the week, Delivery spread- does that come with crackers?
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