10 September 2006

Setting a body in motion

The number changes but the question of late is the same: what can I do in the next 9 days before my internal chronometer clicks over another year? It means starting right now, today, but somehow I'm not motivated to do much beyond the usual Sunday fare.

Shall I peruse the results of my checklist meme in the hopes of finding something I haven't done but want to that I can accomplish in 9 days? Does any of that matter enough to make a difference?

A difference in what is the real question. It feels sort of like trying to cram for a personality test, but I know it's real purpose: distraction. For the moment, it's working, keeping me from dwelling on my lack of direction and recent accomplishments which in the past couple years has triggered depressive slumps this month.

On the upside, I realize that the measurement of time is an artificial construct. Therefore, what I should really be asking myself is: what changes can I set in motion? and what do I want those changes to be? with less regard for arbitrary deadlines. After all as a deadline, age serves mainly as a way of ranking my life against those of others, and that really shouldn't matter.

One year ago at TTaT: Three Breaks: Part 5, Life in Piles
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  1. A little excercise that might put you on your way is this: Try to calm down deeply, then imagine a beam of light that beams you up into the sky and space. Then slowly return to earth to meet your future self. She will tell/show you some stuff that might help you figure out what you need to do (today) to get where she is (she = your future self).

    It seems lame but it actually was a very positive "encounter" for me...

  2. Wow, deep post. Sending good vibes.

  3. Yeah, I guess it sounds a bit "out there" but it really was a very good experience - I might try it again, actually... (thanks for reminding me!)

  4. Hey, that's not you!? - you're another Claire... Sorry for hogging your comment-line, (nomad-)Claire...

  5. Rarity: No prob. It can get a little confusing with more than one claire.

    The exercise does sound a little new age-y to me, but if it works for you, that's great. I actually tried a more pragmatic approach by making a list of stuff I want to do/have/whatever... I may write more about that later.

    other Claire: thanks!