Wuss!

I piss myself off sometimes. Mostly when I think I should've handled something differently.

The folks and I went to an arts & crafts fair this afternoon. After touring a couple buildings, it was snack time. As I have on several previous occasions at this fair, I cruised the food tent tempted by savory dishes while not wanting to throw everyone else's dinner schedule out of whack. Mom assured me it was no big deal, so I finally gave the Indian place a try even though the prices seemed steep just for an afternoon snack.

I reread their board menu and stepped over to order just as the woman behind the table sat down.

"Sorry."

"That's ok," she said, rising with a smile.

"I'd like the vegetarian sampler."

I followed along as she moved down the tables serving portions from a variety of dishes. At the end, she handed me the tray with a smile and walked back to her post. A handwritten sign in marker said: Pay here. I set the tray down and handed a twenty to the guy seated behind the table.

He looked at the tray and back towards the food and then at me, so I said, "Vegetarian sampler."

Then he said something to me (in Indian?) that conveyed that the guy standing a little further down would help me. He held my twenty and we both waited for the guy with his back to us to help.

After a couple minutes, the seated guy gave up and put my twenty into the their money tray and handed me a five for change. It was three dollars short of what he owed me, but I didn't say anything. I took my tray, picked up some utensils and napkins and left.

By the time I sat down, I was obsessed with why I hadn't corrected him. I should have, but my food was getting cold. It also didn't happen to be my money that I was spending. And I didn't want to get into some weird scene of trying to explain it to a third party who might not believe me. And finally, I didn't want to make the foreign guy feel bad by correcting him.

Fucking passive girl reasons.

I would've been nervous for a minute had I corrected him, but it would've been fine. Instead, I chose to spare his feelings, avoid confrontation, and get on with eating; and that choice still bothers me.

Let it go, Claire. It's just three bucks.

I'm hoping the writing will help exorcise it from my system. A few rounds of DDR would probably do me some good too.

One year ago at TTaT: Bar-B-Q
Technorati tags: incorrect change, regret