I met the mom once a year ago, and I hung out with their teenage son for an hour last winter when he was locked out. I sometimes remember the older sister's name, and the father must be that guy always doing yard work though I may be confusing him with their landscaper.
I wave at their cars and say hey to the son on occasion if we're both outside and within twenty feet of each other. If he's with friends I'll just give the I-acknowledge-you nod. This suits me well.
Unfortunately, when I pulled out the mail today, there was a card addressed to my parents and me. We've been invited to meet the neighbors along with the rest of the street. Drinks and Dinner. The date is two weeks from now, and I'm hard pressed to think what excuse I could possibly have not to go at this point.
I know, you're thinking it's very nice of them, and it is, but I dislike meeting new people, especially many at once. The thought of a couple hours of "So, what do you do for a living?" either to a sizeable audience or to small groups repeatedly makes me feel ill. I'm unemployed, I live at home, I have no great plans in the works, and instead of writing The Great American Novel, I blog. This is not likely to put me in a festive or chatty mood.
And why dinner? That just adds to the pressure by having to like the food and not spill any of it.
I could come down with something the day before, but I'd rather say no upfront instead of jerking them around on the RSVP. If my parents go, that may be enough. We'd be represented, but I wouldn't be stuck either in silence or embarrassment for a whole evening. Besides, there's not anyone to meet who's my age; all the adults are older and married. The ones closest to my age are involved in race car driving; they rev their engines loudly at every opportunity and generally ignore friendly waves when they drive by, so they don't have to feel badly about being so obnoxious. I wouldn't be surprised if they were a motivating force behind this shindig. It's harder to be inconsiderate to people you know.
Am I guilty of the same thing? Not exactly. I wave and smile at all the cars and people on our street and respond if spoken to. I'm just shy and reclusive. I really don't want to get guilt-tripped into going.
Haven't you got any friends whose kids you could babysit just that night? (Oh, it was their xth anniversary, they needed to get out...) Or perhaps a concert somewhere, with a band you just remembered you're a huge fan of..?
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
I hate those kinds of get-togethers too. Luckily, being a quad mum means all small talk is taken care of, no matter how much food I spill ;)
Drinks and Dinner? People still throw those parties for their neighbors? Weird. For once I'm kind of glad that my neighbors are anti-social psychokillers.
ReplyDeleteThere are days when I'm glad that I live in a small, unfriendly apartment building with utterly anti-social neighbors. I haven't felt peppy and friendly since I lost my job, and I don't want to talk to strangers about mundane crapito. I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
Your virtual friend,
Merujo the Curmudgeon
I'm so pleased to find that I'm not the only one. My parents on hearing the news actually had similar "oh no" responses.
ReplyDeleteMy dad's was best: "I've been afraid of something like this since they moved in. She seemed like one of those kind of people [who would want to throw dinner parties]."
And mom would rather avoid the reciprocation factor. Dinner for 20 isn't something I'd want to tackle either, particularly if I was only doing it out of obligation.
It's looking like we all may have plans that night, but we must remember to actually go out because they live right across the street from us. Hopefully enough other people will say yes that they won't try to reschedule.
okay, apparently i'm going to be the voice of opposition. maybe it's the poverty talking, but if someone who was generally okay to be around offered to have me over for alcohol and food, i'd accept. sure, it might be awkward, but it also might be kinda cool. how many people will be there? maybe you can add a little more social lubrication and pre-drink the event.
ReplyDelete"having to like the food and not spill any of it"
if i was hosting people for dinner and drinks, i'd assume that there would be at least a couple party fouls and that something, somewhere would be spilled. does the invite say it'll be at all fancy, or even indoors? do you anticipate wine, cocktails or beer as the "drinks" part? could be a bbq if it's still warm enough to do that there.
Sara- I certainly hope it's indoors cuz it's pretty cold at night here and totally dark. I could deal with a bbq, but I'm pretty certain this is more formal. Drinks are at 6, dinner at 7. I don't know what kind of drinks it will be, but I don't care for alcohol anyway so pre-drinking isn't a helpful option for me.
ReplyDeleteAlso the huge catch, particularly from an economic standpoint is that it would be totally uncool to attend such an event and then not throw one in return. There's at least 20 of us here.