Like Juno, but real and from the adoptive mother's point of view

The Great Interview Experiment continues. Neil's keeping a running tally of all the interviews as they are completed here.

It was my pleasure to read about Kelly's life on her blog Ordinary Art this week. I was really impressed by a number of her posts. Be sure to check out these great entries about adoption and her well-founded fears of miscarriage when she became pregnant with her daughter (don't worry, they're a happy family of four now):
Where we are going... Where have we been?
Showered with Love
Jealousy is never pretty
Ignorance on a Thursday Afternoon (Really the things people say just astound me sometimes.)
The Safety of Home
Please don't tell me to Relax
When tomorrow comes...

And now, the questions:

1. Your posts about your miscarriages and dealing with Angel (the birth mother of your son) throughout the adoption process are really compelling. When I read those, I feel like I'm in those moments with you. They couldn't have been easy to write, right? For me, writing/blogging is often therapeutic. What prompted you to share those very personal experiences on the internet?

I blabbed about all that because I have no frontal lobe and no filter. No, actually, I started my blog because the adoption process was so terrifying. I needed a safe space to share my fears. I never really imagined anyone would read it. Then, suddenly people were. I kept going though, because it was resonating with people and making me feel better, somehow. I think there is strength in unity, and blogging unites me with other amazing women. I have made lifelong frienships because of my blog.

2. Are you ever concerned about sharing too much on your blog?

YES!! I actually had a horrible incident not too long ago. I had some posts up about my in-laws. They have never taken to me. Anyway, they "stumbled" across my blog. They sent it to my husband's entire side of the family, they called me names, they cut off my dh, me, and my kids. It was terrible. I ended up deleting my entire blog. Luckily, one of my favorite blogging friends rescued it from google. She brought it back. I'm a little more careful now about what I post, a little, not much. I guess I feel like this is who I am, take it or leave it. I do worry, however, about crazy pedophiles and stuff like that. I never post info about where I live or last names. I want to protect my babies.

3. You wrote once that you "advertised in papers and on the web" as part of the adoption process for your son. It makes me wonder how someone can sum up their ability to parent: resumes, references, and financial statements, perhaps? How did you and your husband describe yourselves?

We just spoke from the heart. It wasn't about what we had. We didn't want someone to pick us because of the size of our house, car, or what we wore. We wanted someone to pick us because we are two people madly in love who wanted to be parents more than anything in the entire world. We just talked about who we are, two teachers, liberal, goofy, both loving the outdoors. I wrote about how I like to run and read, how my husband likes to garden and watch sports. We talked a bit about how we met and the struggles we faced. It was simple and true. I think that is why we matched so quickly.

4. Do you know why Angel (the birth mother of your son) chose you?

She said she could tell we loved each other.
She thought I looked like her.
She liked that I came from a big family that still lived nearby.
She liked that Jack would be the first born and first grandchild but that we wanted more children.
She also said she was happy we were fat??? (Strange, but true)

That is bizarre. Not a single photo of you guys on your blog made me think you were even overweight.

5. Why is your blog called "Ordinary Art"?

When I started, my blog was called EmptyWomb/HopefulHeart. I had to change it when I suddenly got pregnant. I wanted to name my blog something that spoke about my purpose in writing it. I write to share the ordinary truths we all face on the day to day. I write to reflect on who I am and who I want to be. I write about things that are funny, and hard, and hopefully true. I try and find the art in the everyday. I try and find beauty in the ordinary. I also think that although I am only an ordinary woman, my babies are true works of art.

6. What's the last book you read (for yourself) and what prompted you to choose it?

I love to read. I am actually a reading teacher. I just read The Patron Saint Of Liars by Anne Patchett. I picked it up because it has a theme of adoption from the perspective of a potential birth mother. I had also read Bel Canto and thought it was really beautiful. Patron was a nice book. Not the best I've ever read, but lovely in its own right.

7. Remembering back to when you were a teenager, what do you wish you'd known then that you know now? Is that lesson something you'll try to tell your kids when they're that age?

I wish I knew that my size didn't matter. I wish I knew that cliques meant nothing. I wish I knew that I had a voice and I could use it. I want my children to be strong.

8. Would you ever want to go back to school, and if so what would you study?

I would love to go to school for Creative Writing. I have a master in Literacy, but would love to get my Ph.D. Maybe, when the babies are a bit older.

9. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

Ireland. I would like to see where my family is from.

10. What would be your ideal family vacation (now or in the future)?

An eco-friendly resort in Fiji or some place tropical. We would swim, go on nature walks, just totally chill.

I think that's it.
Great questions.
Hope I answered them well.

No doubt about that. Thanks for sharing your thoughtful answers with me here on Taller Than Average Tales.

Two years ago on TTaT: Photos are Heavy, Unpopular
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