Hiccups and epistaxis

It was late and I was exhausted after a long day. All that was left was to wash my face and I'd be ready for bed.

That's when the coughing fit started. I tried to be quiet so as not to disturb the sleeping without much success. Well without success in being quiet. I didn't hear anyone stir. The coughing let up but then I felt my nose start to run a little. Wondered whether I could leave it since I didn't want to start another coughing jag. Decided no, it would drive me nuts to leave it, and it's just as well I did since it wasn't running but bleeding.

Just the one nostril and not too heavily but enough.

That's when the hiccups started. I walked back to my room, tissue stuffed up one nostril, willing my diaphragm to be calm. I sipped some water and thought calm breathing thoughts. The hiccups slowed but did not stop.

It was after 2 AM and I just wanted to go to sleep. What to do.

Checked my breasts for lumps but the hiccups and nosebleed had not subsided by the time I finished. Now what? I would use twitter but my computer's not on. Maybe I should set up my cell to tweet. I could use restraint, right? Well, that doesn't help me now. If the hiccups would stop, I could sleep with a tissue up my nose. But I don't want to get blood on my pillow and the last time I fell asleep with a tissue up one nostril, I dreamt that I was shot because I actually couldn't breathe when the other nostril plugged up.

I looked at the clock: 2:20. Several seconds would pass and I'd think maybe they've stopped, but then hic! I placed my cool hand on the back of my neck. I'd read somewhere that was supposed to help stop nosebleeds but I'd yet to have any definitive success with the technique. I looked at the stack of books I'm reading but was too tired to deal with any of them.

I could try drinking water upside down!

I picked up my water bottle, leaned over, and wondered How do people do this? All I could picture was spilling water all over myself which I was not in the mood for. Then--it felt brilliant because I was so tired--I took a swig right-side up but then leaned over to swallow it.

I waited a few seconds. Nothing. I waited some more. Still nothing. Are you kidding me? Did that actually just work? OK then.

The epistaxis had also finally stopped so I gratefully shut off the light and crawled into bed.


A year ago on TTaT: Men's