11 October 2009

Out and Proud, kiddos

Just yesterday, I was thinking, "Is she looking at me or is she looking at me?" Since she was a vendor at an art fair in an LGBTQ-friendly town, it was up for grabs. Moments like those remind me that my gaydar sucks, but also that I don't get much opportunity to calibrate it. Though I live in a liberal state, there's not a single gay bar in the county where I live.

A private person by nature, I've long thought what business is it of the public at large to know that I'm bi? If you're unaffected by it, why should I be beholden to tell you? Here's the thing though: my heart gladdens to see a strip of rainbow on the back of a windshield, a same-sex couple holding hands, or any clearly out person going about his or her life without being harassed. Seeing Pride symbols, out LGBTQ people, and supportive straight folk makes me feel safer about being myself in public.

Have I been transforming myself into a hetero stereotype to feel safe in public? No, but I have been conscious of what I say, who I say it to, and who might be within earshot. Outlawing gay marriage may seem a simple, discrete action to many who support it, but when people are comfortable denying others' rights, I'm concerned that my value in their eyes is lessened. And despite the progress made in gay rights since Stonewall, I worry that what comes next is a backslide to greater discrimination and violence, sanctioned or not.

So, what to do before the world becomes a gay-friendly utopia? Be proud and be out. Be seen, not as an unknowable entity, a group of letters to ignore; but as an individual with hopes, dreams, and goals just like everyone else. Vote. Be heard.

Happy National Coming Out Day! And cheers to everyone marching in DC!

National Equality March, October 10 and 11, 2009

National Equality March, October 10 and 11, 2009... nationalequalitymarch.com


A year ago on TTaT: Dudes on pointe

3 comments:

  1. I always feel a warmth when I see someone proud enough to have the rainbow sticker on the car. I hope that someday, with everyone speaking out, you don't have to be more careful in public, or think twice about things.

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  2. Voix: hoo-rah!

    Kilax: Thanks. It's not like it's a constant thing, I mention it as a side effect mindset. That one's freedom of speech and right to pursue happiness is affected by bigotry no matter how subtle or nuanced or accepted it may be.

    Some of it is changing my own mindset, getting over the fear of scorn instilled so well by my peers as a kid and finding my own courage. I haven't cared what they think for a long time so I'm well on my way.

    Coming out to my parents & bro earlier this year was also significant.

    And part of it is just getting over my preference for privacy when it comes to people I don't like or don't know well. The more LGBTQ folk that people know personally on some level, the harder it will become to deny us equal rights.

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