What happens if I turn 35 but am not that person? has been a source of increasing preoccupation in the past couple of years. I don't have the answer. It's possible I will get myself together within the next year rendering the query moot. However, something I wrote a few years ago seems as valid today as it did then:
...as the weeks wear on with little change, I wonder if she'll ever reside here. I guess she's waiting for me to move out first.Too bad real moving is simple in comparison.
For today though (as it's technically after midnight), I'll let what might be in the coming year rest. This moment is what matters, and I'll celebrate my birthday with that in mind.
35 is a marker year for me too. . .and i'm five months into being 34.
ReplyDeletehappy birthday to you! may this year be full of living in the present. :)
If I was the self I'd hoped I would be a few years ago, I'd be living in rural Michigan with my ex. Sometimes the future is best left unpredictable.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sizz!
ReplyDeleteCheryl: My future's never been that clear in my mind, but I still really like your take on it. Maybe instead of confident, successful, and fulfilled, I'll be totally awesome instead. :)
Happy birthday, C!
ReplyDeleteA very happy birthday to you, Claire. I had absolutely forgotten that your birthday was in September. Virgos rule! (I am one, and so is my daughter.)
ReplyDelete35 was, I think, a milestone for me. It was around age 33 that I realized that I would miss out big time in life if I did not have a child - something that I had never envisioned before, and I thought that I had to reach that goal by age 35. My daughter was born a few days after my 34th birthday. At age 35, I had a very successful business career, and my marriage was still a very happy one, although there were underlying signs that something was not quite right.
I never envisioned, when I turned 35, that my next decade would be sheer hell. At age 55, I feel happier than I ever was at 35 or at 45. I also have to add that I never put huge expectations on myself, I never really thought of who or what I wanted to be by age 35, 45, or 55. I guess that took the pressure off (I still want to be a full professor before I turn 60, though!).
May you age graciously, live a happy life, and enjoy every single day to the fullest of your ability and of what it may offer you. Again, a very happy birthday to you!
Thanks, Neil!
ReplyDeleteElisabeth: Thanks, E- there are a lot of us Virgos out there, aren't there? (My mom had me a couple days after turning 34 too.)
You make a good point in that whatever I might hope to become, even if reached, is likely to change again, and again.
I'm 49 and I still haven't decided "what I want to be when I grow up". Don't sweat it. Just be.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lynn.
ReplyDeleteI like the "don't sweat it" approach above. :)
ReplyDeleteAs for future goals, I think success and fulfillment are very fluid concepts, and what you considered success at 25 is probably radically different from what you consider it to be today.
At 36, I've learned that there are a lot of roads to happiness, and they don't always follow a traditional course.
Hope you had a great birthday, Claire!
Jenny: I read your comment several times last week while on vacation with my family. It proved a lovely grounding thought. Thanks!
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