06 November 2006

I'm the crazy one

I'm the crazy one. There, I've said it. It's been like a mantra for the past week that I just can't shake. I'd consider writing about it but would get wrapped up in something else for a while and then it'd be back: I'm the crazy one.

Some people travel through life with a grace and aplomb when interacting with other people. In a moment of drama, they naturally diffuse it instead of exacerbating the situation. My friend Splice is like that, and I've tried to emulate that approach, but only with scattered success. It doesn't come naturally to me, knowing not to take things too seriously. Splice, for example, would never see the inciting incident as drama in the first place; whatever it was wouldn't become a big deal because it never was one to her.

My default mode is literal. I never expected that assuming people mean what they say would result in me coming across as the unbalanced one when I tried to do or say what I thought was right in response. No doubt I'm overthinking it even now.

I just want to shake this mantra. Although it does remind me I should take things less seriously, it's not helping me adopt a more happy-go-lucky attitude.

One year ago at TTaT: tip of the week
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  1. This was rather heavy. I think that I have got to come back and revisit. By the way, people very often claim not to have meant what they said.

  2. i do this too. overthink/too serious. but you aren't crazy! shouldn't people mean what they say??

  3. Elisabeth: I'm not oblivious to the fact people often don't mean what they're saying, it's just far more prevalent than I expect and accurately interpreting what they do mean is not my forte.

    Sizz: Thank you. I don't actually think I'm crazy... it's more my brain's way of distilling an idea to its essence. A way of recognizing that I'm the outsider or minority with this outlook.

    Meaning what you say seems like such an obvious thing to me, and yet I find I take it for granted in other people more than I should.

  4. I've been called mean for that same reason. I heard somewhere that the best way to lose a friend isto tell them soething for their own good. Ido, I don't have many (true) friends to speak of! you're how you are and the others should take you as you are!


  5. Fitena: True, friends should accept you as you are. The misunderstandings I'm thinking of are usually with acquaintances or strangers- it's partially because we don't know each other well that perceptions get off-track.