28 May 2016

The Night Before The Wedding

It was the night before the wedding.

That it was my wedding to someone I haven't seen in person in 20 years came as a surprise to me. Even more so because I've never been attracted to her.

These days I see more photos of her two children, a girl and a boy, on Facebook and printed Christmas cards than I do of her. Thus she still had her kids in my dream. My brain omitted her actual wife.

Time leapt forward to the morning of the wedding. The venue was beautiful, clearly my parents had spent a lot on the occasion. I had doubts though. Why am I getting married to someone I still haven't even seen in 20 years? How did that arrangement even come about? This is more than cold feet. I'm not attracted to her, I don't have strong feelings of like for her, and I don't want kids.

I asked my (presumed) maid of honor if she thought it was a good idea. She said, "Yes, of course," like I was missing something obvious. The maid of honor was played by my actual ex-fiancee who at one point cheated on me with our mutual best friend who was now soon to be my new bride. The dream didn't quite register all of that, however, I knew getting married to her was a terrible idea and wondered how to get out of it, what to tell my parents, the guests.

I didn't have any of the answers by dream's end except the conviction, I am not marrying her no matter the costs financial and emotional. That felt right.

6 years ago on TTaT: Not just for geeks, really

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