Often I am too much the perfectionist. When I know I can't achieve a certain level of quality, certain things don't feel worth doing.
That "level of quality," it's solvable. Has been for a long time, but I refuse to choose, to make a commitment I might regret a month from now, or the month after that, or even 6 months or a year later. I could make a different choice later, but I don't feel like I'll be able to justify it. I don't want to have to.
Just more perfectionism.
I looked through some photographs I took last summer, weeding and ranking, trying to choose. I should just begin with the one I know is a Yes. What follows will follow.
When I saw that Creative LIVE was doing 28 Days with Sue Bryce, I knew it would be too much to watch in its entirety but that it would be cool. I lamented that I have zero desire to start a contemporary portrait/glamour studio because she's going to show how it's done. I caught part of the second day though when she was talking about the fears people have that hold them back and how to overcome them.
Sue's talk in a nutshell: the blocks we have/feel are not really fight or flight fear. It's not feeling good enough due to one or a combination of the following:
•Obsession with the possibility of FailureHer mental script runs in a sing-song voice with a Kiwi accent to say, "Yeah, I had a bit of trauma over there. I've got a bit of self hate, but I'm working on it."
•Apathy/Non-action
•Small Thinking - Negative Voice
•Self Hate
•Victim Mentality
•Competition/Ego
In essence, Yeah, that sucked, but that's not how it is now, and I'm not going to let that stop me.
Recognize your self hate for what it is and tell it to shut up.
UPDATED: Now you can watch her talk for FREE on Youtube. Thanks, Sue & Creative LIVE!
My only push back to her talk (which would fall into her victim mentality category) is, "But what if what you've been through is not done? Is not going to be done?" It just makes it harder to visualize it as past and metaphorically "over there."
Do you struggle with perfectionism or feelings of unworthiness? How do you overcome it?
I added my new Black, White, Red Diamond Pattern to my shop:
Black, White, Red Diamond Pattern Messenger Bag by RocklawnArts
Look at Black Messenger Bags online at Zazzle.com
Black, White, Red Diamond Pattern Samsung Galaxy S3 Cases by RocklawnArts
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Black, White, Red Diamond Pattern Clock by RocklawnArts
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Picked up some useful tips from YouTube Marketing with James Wedmore.
A year ago on TTaT: The hoops there are many
I'm not too much of a perfectionist about my writing in particular, but I do struggle with a general sense of not measuring up. One way I deal is to be highly suspicious of any inspirational seminar that says negative thinking is the main cause of failure--because like you said, sometimes the crazy shit isn't over. I think fear and sadness are an inevitable part of life, so you might as well own them (which isn't to say they're the only parts of life, or that they have to control you).
ReplyDeleteAnother way I deal is to take a Do One Thing approach. If I try to write a great novel, I feel overwhelmed; if I try to write for an hour, not so much. If I try to find the perfect publisher, I'll obsess; if I submit work to just ONE good publisher, that's good enough. It's kind of like dating--if you're always waiting for The One, you'll miss out, but if you believe there are multiple princes among the frogs, you'll have better luck.
My less healthy coping mechanism? I tell myself I'll be perfect starting tomorrow, and spend the rest of the day playing Words With Friends and eating chocolate.
Sue's talk is now free on Youtube, so I added it to the post. What she say isn't negative thinking causes failure but rather that it prevents us from trying often. Mindset in that case has a lot do with blocks. However, getting past various fears or blocks is not always simple if their stimuli are still present.
DeleteI like the Do One Thing approach. Deuparth gwaith ei ddechrau (Welsh proverb: Beginning is two thirds of the work.)
Watching a workshop on health & energy today and trying not to fill the breaks with massive chocolate intake. Not quite succeeding. ;)