22 April 2005


If instantaneous transport existed, my parents bickering would be reduced by a cRaZy Eddie mattress sale magnitude. They've been married over 40 years, so something works though I'm often as baffled by it as their former classmates are at their high school reunions. In most things, their minds do not work alike, never have, and even with all the years they've spent together, never will.

That's where I come in. When they're talking at cross purposes, or making the same point in such a way that each thinks the other is disagreeing, I'm generally able to translate for them. However I'm not much of a referee; mostly I end up being the tiebreaker. The role generally dissipates the tension of their stalemate, regardless of which person I agree with unless I side with one person too frequently.

We just got back from a couple days of hitting some sites a few hours away. As we were driving back yesterday, I was annoyed to find that I was focusing on the heated bickering that had cropped up sporadically instead of the cool places we'd seen. Three days was as long as I could handle with them; the tiebreaker had had enough. It didn't matter that one person would always be in agreement with me: the bickering (based mainly on all things related to driving) was stressing me out. I wanted to yell: Grow up!, but knew the comment could be easily and justifiably thrown back at me, and I really didn't want to hear it. I took a deep breath, mentally composed my ideal yard utilizing elements of inspiration I'd enjoyed in the past few days, and soon the three of us were laughing again.

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