03 April 2006

Well, at least my brakes work

Today's just not going well overall. It's chilly, dark, and rainy, the type of day you'd rather not go out, but tomorrow is supposed to be worse with rain and snow.

Sifted through a whole section of cliche-ridden condolence cards covered with birds and flowers until I found one with a bolder design and words that didn't make me cringe. I sat in the parking lot copying out the message I'd composed last night and addressing the envelope. My plan had been to get the card and mail it before my dentist appointment, but time was running short and even if there was no line at the post office, I'd probably be late for the dentist.

Of course, when I got to the dentist my hygienist was running late, and I would've had plenty of time. And then breaking a six year streak, I have two small cavities and have to go back.

Mailed my letter and then picked up a shower liner and some photo album refill pages before heading home. Took the back way in hopes of seeing some pygmy goats.

Then I watched an SUV on a side road approaching mine, and I could just feel that he wasn't going to stop. I was right, mostly. He did stop, but only after he was covering more than half of my lane.

I opted to stop. I just wasn't feeling the adrenaline rush and clarity to whip around him over a double yellow line on a rise I couldn't see over. The hair he had left was thin and grey. He was probably in his late 50s or 60s. He raised his left arm in a sort of shrug gesture that annoyed me. Not a mea culpa, more of a "why didn't you just pull around me?" or "whatever" dismissive gesture. He backed up and I drove past him. He seemed oblivious to the danger; I would've driven straight into him personally if I hadn't been able to stop.

Saw a few ponies, but the goats weren't out.

Felt very much like it was a day that would've been better if I'd been able to stay in. Approached the garage in relief thinking, "At least I made it home," and then cursing myself for thinking it because I wasn't actually in the garage yet with my car off.

Within a few minutes managed to upset my mom while talking about the stupidest of things, the shower liner I'd just bought. I should've started with mentioning the condolence cards as a way to segue and mention Q's father's death, but I felt like warming up, if you will, and had blown the chance before I could get any further. I just wasn't in the mood to explain. I'd already made it clear I was having a bad day with the cavities and near accident, so I'm feeling entitled to some slack I'm not getting.

sigh.

I have some new things in mind for ttat, but I'm feeling... sidetracked.

And like I want a nap.

5 comments :

  1. Wow, what a tough day. I'm sorry about your friend's father.

    The only advice I have for you is about the cavities... try to eat less sweets.

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  2. Thanks Neil. It's been an emotional couple of days with more to come. His emails break my heart and even my own replies are putting me in tears.

    As for sweets... yeah. I tell ya, my hygienist was really trying to make me feel better about it too. "You're doing a great job. Don't get discouraged." I knew it was coming since they'd been keeping an eye on these spots, but still... what am i supposed to have for my evening snack? I could go for a banana right now, but i don't think we have any. Chocolate chip cookies are looking like the healthier alternative to straight candy.

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  3. I agree with Hyperion... nice new design. I like the color combinations.

    And sorry about your day. I hope it doesn't happen to you again.

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