Bridget McManus takes out and proud all the way. In the first episode of Brunch With Bridget that I watched, she said:
We're just trying to make things better. I never, I don't want someone in twenty years still freaking out about telling their parents they're gay. There is nothing wrong with being gay. Being gay is awesome. It's the best part of my life, so it's makes me so sad when I get these young people writing me on MySpace about, like, "I don't know how to come out. They're going to be so disappointed." Why should people be disappointed when myself and Jill and all the vloggers at AfterEllen and all these wonderful women in Hollywood and all over the world are proud of who they are? It's just infuriating. So, love each other ladies.[Damn, Bridget talks fast when she's passionate about her subject.]
So, the thing. A few things actually. All my friends know I'm bi (or feel certain I'm a lesbian, another story that), and I'm out on the blog though it only comes up in stray posts. My family, for practical purposes, does not know. (Unless they've found the blog. Hello!)
In my defense, I tried to come out to them back in grad school. I made a film about a bi woman coming to grips with her sexuality and invited my parents, brother and his wife down for Thanksgiving dinner while I was still living with my ex-fiancee as friends. I figured I'd show them the film and that would lead to discussion and, "Yes, I'm bi."
They watched it and didn't say anything when it was done. I asked them what they thought and they said, "It was good." The following day, my mom made a point of saying she thought my actors were really good. And that was it. Their non-reaction put me completely off my game. Given my past outspoken liberality, it was possible they thought that I made a film with gay characters just for the heck of it.
On the flip side, when the school had its end of semester screening, I effectively came out to that entire packed auditorium. OK, I can't be certain everyone made that assumption, but all my classmates who didn't already know did, as well as professors, actors, and people in administration. It was kind of a big deal for me. It was new to me to have that information be public in that way, particularly to people I didn't like. I didn't have any problems with anyone because of it (well, except for some location issues with the film even though it was totally PG. I was after all in the South.).
A bi friend of mine from undergrad told me my family did know, they just didn't say anything. Also possible, but inconvenient. Of course, a year or so later, I was home for a funeral and my brother made a comment wondering why my roommate (aka ex-fiancee) had moved to Florida. I was so surprised that he was that clueless. "Because I was there," I said, with sarcasm and without thinking. I still don't think he got it, though I think his wife did, maybe.
Why don't I just say something then? It has long been my opinion that if you make a big deal out of something, it becomes a big deal. My sexuality is just one aspect of my persona, not an overriding influence on every decision. Besides, I'm not the sort of person who talks about boys to my family either.
But... while writing this, it occurred to me that I'm away from all my friends who know right now while being close to my parents who don't. There have been times I changed my behavior, e.g., didn't say something that I would've in other company, constrained my voice. Why?
For the record, I'm not worried about disappointing my family. I don't want them to disappoint me. For now, there are practical considerations which must be taken into account.
However, the Brunch With Bridget vlogs--as silly as they tend to be--have sparked a desire to be a better version of myself, to have a different, more fulfilling life. So no more internal gay editing, insomuch as I'm able to control my own brain. I know I've already made much progress on this front but there's further to go. Right now, I can say the gay-themed DVDs will stay wherever they are no matter who visits. I didn't move them when my brother's family was up for Christmas, but I did think about it way too much. No more!
A year ago on TTaT: No more state dropdowns!